I JUST PISSED ALL OVER MYSELF

Blogging is terrible. It is the worst. I have nothing ever to say and everyone is an asshole. Tonight during the “Heisman Trophy presented by Nissan” presentation on ESPN I saw a Battlefield 3 commercial. This commercial claims that an IGN survey of “thousands” of people have voted that Battlefield 3 is a superior game to Modern Warfare 3. “Best campaign. Best multiplayer.” This commercial is either rigged or just an outright lie. Either that or the people who have voted are certifiable mental retards. Having never played BF3, even for a minute, I feel I can make a pretty reliable snap judgement concerning this issue. The ONLY reason ANYONE would pick BF3 over MW3 is that they are not good enough or fast enough to play CoD games. That or they find playing games with chattering 12 year old Koreans annoying. Those are the only two options. Vanlandw has just suggested that I should “enjoy myself sexually” and then “play Bayonetta.” I will refuse his sexual advances, as always, and do neither of these things. I worry about Vanlandw’s sexual advances sometimes. I feel that if we both owned Kinect cameras for XBOX he would incessantly send me invites to “private Kinect video chats” which would feature a nude Vanlandw in some state of sexual excitement; thus causing the removal of my clothes and my eventual ejaculation. I fear this. I am currently microwaving Hungry Howie’s pizza. Die Hard is playing via instant streaming Neflix on my tv. I am completely trashed. This is a good night. I may only cry for about 30 seconds tonight as I go to sleep, as opposed to the usual 17 minutes. In addition, I may only rub myself down briskly with some very fine sandpaper, as opposed to cutting myself deeply with the usual serrated steak knife. The Red Wings just won. Also Michigan won tonight. Their game was at the Palace which pissed me off. i hate everything. Kaley Cuoco is so fucking hot. Also Indiana knocked off #1 Kentucky tonight. Fuck Indiana. I hate Indiana and I hate that I was rooting for them. But I love an underdog, and that was an awesome game. I just signed in to XBL for about two minutes. Fuck Microsoft. They have all of my money. I attempted to join the party of either “MixMaterFlo” or “vanberge4″ but this was apparently not allowed. Fuck it then. Not that big of deal. I planned to play nothing…. just wanted to give them endless shit for about 5 minutes. This undoubtedly would have contained many politically incorrect gay slurs about their love of BF3. Fags. I really have to piss. But I am waiting. Actually no fuck off I am going to go piss eat a dick